Secret Keeper Girl

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl  I was on a national call-in radio show the other day and a mom called in pretty freaked out because her fourteen year old wanted to shave. Then, a comment to Janet’s post last week ended with the question…”When do you let your daughter shave?” Well, it seems like this issue is related to the all-important topic of protecting her little-girl-hood, so let’s talk! First, let me say that I have two fourteen year old girls and I DID NOT get to pick when they began to shave. Lexi was about nine when she came to me and asked in a tell-tale voice, “Mommy, how old do I have to be to shave?” I smiled and responded, “Well, how did it go?” She revelled in letting me feel her freshly shaven legs…with only a few knicks. I began to teach her how to do it safely, and the passion passed in a few weeks until she was about thirteen. Autumn, my newly adopted daughter who being Chinese would not have to shave until she’s about ninety, took it upon herself to begin this summer. They are going to be curious at some point and that in itself might be a sign that it’s time to talk turkey! Second, let me suggest that shaving isn’t something that makes them necessarily appear older (which is something that you’ll find I blog about a lot because it is dangerous for them), but at a certain point in their lives it does make them appear…well, uh, clean! I think withholding it when it is something they desire may leave them open to being made fun of. I’d err on the side of cleanliness. What did I tell the woman who called in? I suggested she buy her daughter a razor! What would you say?

By Janet Mylin co-author of Just Call Me Kate from the SKG Fiction series  So, my daughter’s starting to ask questions. Not fun little questions like “Mommy, why can’t I feed the dog a chocolate bar?” These questions are THE questions: “Mommy, why does Jack’s body (Jack’s her baby brother) look different from mine?” and “Mommy, when will I wear a bra?” and “Billy tried to kiss me on the cheek in the lunch line today. Why?”  I very quickly realized I needed some help in wording the answers to these questions appropriately for a 7 year old, so I immediately headed down to one of those big bookstores I love so much. As I read through the “coming of age” books written for girls her age, I almost fell over. The more I read, the more my mouth dropped open in horror as I read what these authors deemed appropriate material for MY baby girl. They all mentioned homosexuality as a normal way of life for anybody. Not ONE of the books mentioned sex within the context of marriage. It was all along the lines of “when two people care for each other very much” without talking about God’s design for sex or the painful consequences of sex outside of marriage. One book even explained masturbation in great detail and stated “This is something you never do in front of someone else. This is something you should always do privately” illustrated by a cartoon girl hanging  a Do Not Disturb sign on her bedroom door! Needless to say, I practically ran out of the store I was so upset and promptly called a few friends with girls of similar ages to fill them in on my findings. Every one of them was completely shocked. So, what did I learn in the midst of trying to teach my daughter? I learned that I absolutely cannot depend on the world to teach my little girl Godly principles and promises. I need to depend on God’s Word and people who love Jesus to receive holy advice to help me raise her up to be a woman of purity. I definitely cannot do this alone.�

By Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl  Hi, moms! I want to invite you to be a part of The SKG Bod Squad! What is that? It’s a group of moms who are insensed by the world’s insatiable appetite to eat up our daughter’s childhood by pressing them into boy-craziness, mini-skirts and make-up! I’ve been on the rampage for a few years, but am starting to feel a little lonely. Oh, I’ve seen over 100,000 moms and daughters finish the “8 Great Dates” to talk about modesty, but I’ve not been able to hear from them nearly as much as I’d like to. So, I’ve decided that rather than just create products for moms and daughters, I want to create a forum for moms to talk. We’re all in this together and we need to stand together? WHY? Because it turns out, I’m right! Last year the American Psychological Association released the findings of a two year study about the sexualization of girls. The findings would frighten any mom into locking up her daughter and throwing away the key. It turns out that little girls who have boyfriends at an early age, dress like teens (read: immodest teens), and explore things like make-up turn out to be some of the most sexually repressed adult women in our culture. Ironic, isn’t it? In giving them it all too soon, they end up actually losing it. Are you aggravated with the pressure to tell your daughter “no” to so much? Then, join me. I need your voice!

From Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl Todays girls are looking to many mediums to pattern their sense of self, but none more consistently than that of magazines such as Teen People, YM, Teen, and Seventeen. Surveys reveal the startling fact that girls as young as eleven are digging into these teen magazines.Christian tweens are not excluded from this transfixed demographic. They tend to view these magazines as readily as the non-religiously active population. Exactly what are they reading? Well, you should look for yourself if your daughter is peeking past the covers. Many have horoscope readings and other articles which reflect cosmic humanism and new age philosophy. One recent article featured a college girl who was so proud of herself for posing nude for a pornographic magazine. Here are some article titles:“Roe v Wade: In Danger of Being Turned Down” (Teen People)“Cast a Love Spell: A Real Teen Age Witch Shows You How” (Seventeen)“Celtic Cross Reading: What the Future Holds” (Twist)“Joel Madden Strips Down” (Teen People)The results of reading these magazines can be imagined, but one that is traceable is the overall damage to the emotions of their readers. Most women or teen girls who read them report feeling depressed about their looks or weight afterward. One Harvard survey, in searching for the impact of today’s fashion and beauty-saturated media culture, found that 2/3rds of underweight twelve year olds consider themselves to be fat. Did you catch that key word? These girls are underweight.Shouldn’t there be an alternative?For me, one alternative is Christian teen girls mag, BRIO, published by Focus on the Family and edited by my good friend Susie Shellenberger. It’s full of godly advice, modest fashion and great role models like Barlow Girl and Toby Mac. I intentionally introduced it to my daughter Lexi when she was about ten. She’s fourteen and still loves it and though she’s tempted, she passes on the other options!What are your ideas about how to keep your daughters out of teen magazines? Let me know!