Secret Keeper Girl

Posted by Dannah Gresh, creator of Secret Keeper Girl!  You might notice that tween bling-shop, Limited Too, is disappearing as it folds into Justice! (I’ve certainly used my share of “two-bucks” getting my 15 year olds out of Limited Too and into aeropostale and Charlotte Russe.) The tween money magnet has recently launched its own virtual world called scapenation.com. You have GOT to see the video posted on the home page! WOW! Why? Well, I think in part the virtual world creates some entertainment that seems to me to be neutral in terms of value formation. It includes games, mysteries and social networking capabilities. The site is, in part, aimed at bringing boys into what is now a primarily female tween audience.  But at the heart of this website is an industry that sells stuff and I find that marketers really have a hard time remaining values neutral. (You won’t believe how blatantly this video sells the concept of greed!) I was more than a little alarmed when I clicked on one of the free videos on the home page. (I’ll take you there in a moment.) 

The barbell mustached Jasper Wilburt announces, “Hi, I’m Jasper Wilburt and I’m here to tell you to BUY MORE STUFF!” (Seriously, he yells the words “BUY MORE STUFF!”) Then, this crazy (and admittedly cute) diatribe of all things you should buy begins. You’ve got to watch it! It’s so blatant, over-the-top unashamed training for future credit-card toting tweens that I couldn’t stop watching it. Hilarious! Some of the stuff you can buy looked alarmingly  like stuff you can actually buy in a Justice store! Another concern I saw was the “modmall.” I couldn’t get to the modmall where a girl can “change your hair, skin, clothes, furniture and more.” I think that 8-12 year olds don’t need to change their hair, skin, clothes and more. I think they’re just right how God created them. I don’t hate this website. It’s not evil. It’s rather benign at first glance, but I’d probably encourage my kids not to join it. It seems there are a few areas that aren’t as nuetral as I’d like for them to be. This is something of a pattern for Justice/Limited Too who has been known to be guilty of size inflation. What’s size inflation? It’s the phenomenon of ready-to-wear clothing of the same nominal size becoming larger over time. It’s sometimes called vanity sizing because you end up with sizes like 0 and 00 in name brand stores. There’s just something not all-together good about that. I don’t really want my 15 year old girls to wear the “smallest size” possible to appease some silly vanity the world has created in them. Do you? I want my girls to be OK with their size, what they do and don’t have (not to BUY MORE STUFF) and the way God created their skin and hair!  Want a good, hilarious look at Jasper Wilburt shouting “BUY MORE STUFF?” Hit this! Go to the homepage and click on the third video in the “new video” bar. Feel free to come back and comment once you stop laughing!

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl In the past year I was devastated to find that two of my teen mentees were caught up in this nasty world of “sexting.” One of them, a sweet home-schooled Christian girl, actually sent a topless photo of herself to a guy. The other, a pastor’s daughter, was graphically propositioned for sex through a text message that ended with, “I know your dad is a pastor, but this is none of his business.” As a mom that should make your blood boil! It does mine. If you have a teen, don’t be niave. The stats are alarming. 45% of teens say they’ve sent or received a sexual text message. One in five admits to sending or receiving nude photos. This is COMMON! (I loathe to use that word for something so vile.) Let me say it again, don’t be niave. My friend Vicki Courtney noted on her blog recently that 50% of parents whose teens ARE sexually active, believe they are not! How can you know if your teen is involved in something they shouldn’t be…particularly sexting? Talk to them! Ask them. Let them know of the dangers including the fact that sending or receiving a nude photo of someone who is under 16 is considered a crime of child pornography. There are stiff penalties including jail time. Often just asking questions will help your teen feel comfortable to open up with you about what they are feeling pressured to do. If they don’t open up and you suspect an odd reaction, check their cell phone. Just ask them to let you look at their history and  you can look together.What happens if you find that they are “sexting?” I’d be radically protective of them. Contact your cell service provider and change their service to exclude the texting feature. If they themselves have been sending “sext” messages, let me suggest something very loving…TAKE THEIR PHONE! Let them earn your trust and get it back when they have. In my own home, we don’t do texting until the kids are seniors in high school. Seem extreme? Consider this: how meaningful and helpful to good human communication is a text message actually? I mean, really! I know this: it’s really bad for their grammar. My fifteen year old girls can call their friends all they want, but texting is vetoed until they have better decision making and interpersonal communication skills. (And they are both fantastic little women. It’s not like they’re weird or backward. Just safe thanks to mom and dad.) It hasn’t killed them. My son is a thriving freshman at Penn State University in the honors program. (Can you tell I’m proud?) He uses text messages often now to communicate with his friends, but he’s past the curiosity phase that I believe is so risky. Is he at risk? Sure, but I trust his judgement far more than I did when he was fourteen.  How is your family safe guarding against “sexting?”

We were so blessed to be in Euless, Texas.  The moms hit it out of the ballpark with the History of Fashion, and the teacup skit was awesome!  Thank you girls in the fashion show-you gave it your all.  We loved having the girls help us lead worship.  I hope ya’ll(that’s Texas speak right?) did too.  Keep in touch.

Peace,

The Secret Keeper Girl Team

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl

•  Q. I am 24 and have 3 children I don’t think that I dress totally immodest, but my problem is I like the new fashions… my mother in law is Baptist and she never wears pants only dresses, she thinks a woman should never wear pants, is that too extreme? or what’s your idea? 
• A. I can respect your mother in law for preferring dresses to pants as is often the case due to generational traditions. However, when anyone attempts to present their own preference as a Biblical command they are crossing the line into a spirit of legalism and I think that is harmful. Let me show you some scripture that helps us to understand what is acceptable for us to wear as women. Many who believe that women should not wear pants point to Deuteronomy 22:5 which reads “A woman must not wear a man’s clothes and a man must not wear women’s clothes. The Lord your God hates anyone who does that.” This simply does not mean that women cannot wear pants. Let me explain why? First of all, keep in mind that this was written during Old Testament times in the Middle East when and where a man was wearing a tunic or dress just as was a woman. Second of all, you must study scripture in context. This particular verse is believed to be referring to the practice of the day in that area of worshipping Venus whereby a woman wore armour and a man wore feminine attire. (This view is supported by verse 10 in the same chapter which warns the people of God not to wear clothes made of interwoven wool and linen as this was the custom of another group of idol worshippers.) Thus, the main point of these verses is to encourage those people of the day to avoid doing things that could be associated with the occult. At best, it begs men to appear masculine and women to appear feminine. The pants and jeans that I wear are cut for the female body. The pants and jeans that my husband wears are cut for the male body. We’d look ridiculous in each others clothes. That said, even women’s pants or jeans or shorts that are too tight, too low or too short miss the mark of God’s call for us to be modest in how we dress, considering our Christian brother’s God-given weakness for our female shape. Don’t be proud in your liberty to wear pants. Anytime I am asked to speak where the church prefers that women wear dresses, I pack dresses. Anytime I represent another speaker or author who prefers that women wear dresses, I have worked through my closet until I have a good wardrobe to honor her. Most of the time, I’m more comfortable in pants. But always be testing your fashion choices to make sure that you are not showing off too much of that God-given shape. As much as we sometimes hate to admit it, you CAN find modest fashion options and should go out of your way to do so!

 Hey girls! I was totally in USA TODAY! Would you believe that they featured the topic of modesty in the MONEY section of all places?  The article stated that “modesty in young women’s clothing is getting a boost from the dismal economy.” It seems that people are buying less “bling” during this downturn and looking more towards “staples” that they can wear in a lot of different ways. Gone are trendy, low cut numbers. People are reaching for white button down blouses and longer skirts that they can mix and match with the accessories they already own. That’s good for those of us who want to teach our girls to dress modestly. The wonderful editor Jayne O’Donnell interviewed me and highlighted our efforts to obtain signatures for the petition I’m circulating, asking both the Council of Fashion Designers of America and the Apparel & Footwear Manufacturers Association to consider modesty in their designs.  (To sign the petition and enter into this month’s contest to win up to $135 of free Secret Keeper Girl stuff, go to our March Madness Giveaway! The article focuses on another ministry devoted to modesty, Pure Fashion. I just love Brenda Sharman and the work she is doing with teens to promote modesty. Go, sister! If we work together, we can make a change in our culture. Moms, read the article and stay informed about what the fashion industry is up to and how we can respond as good consumers. Love ya! Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl

Someone once said “if you build it they will come,” and come they did.  The mothers and daughters came out in full force to participate in the fun.  The girls had so much fun learning the worship movements and the moms took the opportunity to pray for their daughters’ futures.  Thanks to all the volunteers who worked so hard to get us set up!

Peace,

The Secret Keeper Girl Team

The ladies in Hudson, Ohio came out in full force to our Secret Keeper Girl event on Friday night!  We had a great time playing games, worshipping with awesome dance moves led by our SKG interns, but mostly learning what it means to be a Secret Keeper Girl.  The dessert reception afterwards with all that candy was fabulous (who can pass up a Starburst!)

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl 

As Barbie celebrates her 50th birthday, she is anything but old-fashioned. Mattell has recently released “Barbie Totally Stylin’ Tatoo.” The new doll comes complete with stickers that your daughter can place. It also includes a little tatoo gun so your daughter can tatoo herself, though temporarily. Reviews are mixed. On a CNN report one consumer lamented, “I think it’s too soon.” The woman didn’t want little girls playing with tatoos. Check out the CNN report to decide what you think. I have no problem deciding what I think. Especially after seeing this photo.

Would you buy this doll for your daughter? What are your thoughts?

If it angers you, as it does me, that little girls are once again being tantalized into trying out things they’re much too old for…don’t forget to sign our 50,000 Mom Bod Squad Petition. Help us send a message to the marketers and creators of these products that we’d really like to let little girls be little girls. (And win free stuff at the same time. Check out the contest posted March 2nd.)

THIS GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED! THANKS FOR PARTICIPATING!

Hey, girls! We’re feeling a little spring fever craze come upon us here at Secret Keeper Girl so we want to give away something obnoxiously expensive, but we needed some really crazy reason to do it. So, we’re really crazy about one thing right now: getting moms to take notice of our Bod Squad Petition which will be featured in USA Today on March 9th! Our Bod Squad Petition is a collection of signatures from moms who say “no” to sexy clothes for our girls and say “yes” to retailers who provide age-appropriate adorable fashion. If that sounds like you, keep reading. The American Psychological Association has linked inappropriate fashion to things like eating disorders, depression and early sexual activity. We want the fashion industry to read that report! So, we need to join together and that is where YOU come into play. (And we do mean “play” in the funnest sense of the word. As in “play to win!”) Just go to the petition page and sign it. Then, come back here and leave a comment with your thoughts about our petition and you’ll be entered into our March Madness Giveaway. We’re giving away two SUPER BUNDLES and you may ask for either one.

TWEEN SUPER BUNDLE

This bundle is valued at over $135 and includes both Secret Keeper Girl 8 Great Date kits, all four fiction books, one copy of My Best Friend Jesus bible study, a Secret Keeper Girl t-shirt and a set of four imported demitasse cups which you’ll need for your first date! It’s the perfect bundle for a mom with an eight-twelve year old daughter!

TEEN SUPER BUNDLE!

This bundle is valued at over $115 and is a mother/daughter kit for girls aged 13-19. It includes two copies of And the Bride Wore White, 2 companion guides, one leader’s guide, 1 DVD of Dannah Gresh teaching and a set of six demitasse tea cups which you’ll need for lesson six in the And Bride Wore White study.So, what are you waiting for? Go sign that petition  and let us know whether you want the TEEN SUPER BUNDLE or the TWEEN SUPER BUNDLE! We’ll randomly select two winners on the last day of March. Oh, and if you blog about it at your site, note that in your comment and we’ll enter you twice in the contest! Thanks for  helping us stand strong for our girls!

There’s a gem named Janet Jewell in Alexandria, LA and she hosted us at one HOT event last night.  The moms in the fashion show were rockin and the confetti was flyin!  We had such a great time meeting the girls and watching them pass the Truth or Bare Fashion Challenges with flying colors. It was all topped off with Mimi’s southern hospitality.  Sorry Mimi, we know we kept you up past your bedtime.  Thanks Alexandria.  We loved it! 

Peace,

The Secret Keeper Girl Team