Secret Keeper Girl

My girls and I shopped til we dropped along with you this past weekend. After shopping State College’s Gap Kids and Lands Ends (Sears) alone on Friday while the girls were in school, we set out early on Saturday morning to hit Altoona, PA! After a must-have-caffeine stop at Starbucks, we drove to the mall where our first unfortunate site was an Elvis impersonator. Here’s what the girls thought of that… 

 Fortunately, Elvis was our only set-back. Autumn paid for the great new Lands End coats at Sears. The cashier there was delighted that we were doing this. It was so fun to thank her. It was here that I realized that our day of shopping was kind of like a Random Act of Kindness in character. It is just so uncommon to hear good things these days, that the store-personnel we encountered were incredibly blessed. (Maybe this is one reason why Woman’s Wear Daily had such a hard time believing that we were just going to say thank you and didn’t have an evangelistic goal in mind!)

Old Navy provided our best finds of the day. With up to 50% off clearance items, we were able to score big time. Lexi got away with a pair of new shoes for $2.10. Cha-ching! The sales clerk at Old Navy was a guy in his twenties. I didn’t expect him to care, but he was floored. He thought it was “way cool!”

 Second best find of the day was this adorable dress-up outfit for my niece Rebecca. Got it at The Children’s Place for $12.00. (I love supporting her dress-up/princess addiction!) They were also having great sales.

Overall, the experience with my girls was a rush. We had such a great time together. One of our best shopping experiences ever. We had some great dialogue about why we were saying “thank you” and how to be discerning.

I’d love to hear about your experience (and have enjoyed reading them already on my facebook page and on last Friday’s blog entry.) Keep ‘em coming. I need your feedback to evaluate our success and to decide if this might be an annual Secret Keeper Girl event.  Here are a few of my favorite comments so far:

• One young salesclerk was really excited and happy about the note, wanted to show all the others. At the other store that I went to, the salesclerk agreed that it’s hard to find modest clothing for girls, and was going to put the note on the bulletin board in the break room. (Jennifer, a facebook friend)
• I went to Old Navy and got four long-sleeved tees that cover my five year old’s belly, even when her hands are raised in praise! I also bought a very cute and very modest zip-up hoodie jacket. I spent a total of $35 at Old Navy and left behind our card, courtesy of the Bod Squad, while explaining to the cashier why we chose that store to shop in. I love this campaign. I hope you keep cards available that we can print even after this weekend is done! I want these retailers to know why we’re choosing them over others! (Wanda, SKG blogger)

• It was a three generation experience. My mom and I went to Old Navy today, and we SHOPPED! We had so much fun!! At the end, we presented cards that my daughters had made (the printed ones from your sight). When we presented the cards to the manager, he was shocked and thrilled. He was proud of his store and wanted to know if he could post the notes. Thanks for all you are doing!! (Kristi, SKG blogger)

• Just got back from our shopping…. We went with two other families and had a nice lunch together and went over the modesty rules and why they are important. We wrote out our thank yous then, too. …we went on to GAP and then to Old Navy where I had the girls do a number of challenges in order to get used to what modesty looks like and to have fun — which they did! And we moms had fun watching them!! My daughters and I made our purchases at Old Navy (we are on a tight budget with 4 kids and a youth pastor’s salary!!) and gave them our thank you notes. The clerk had not heard of the event but was very much in agreement with it! She said she would post our thank yous in the back room. =) (Amy, facebook friend)

   

Hello all you Wisconsin Secret Keeper girls, moms, friends, relatives and ladies! The SKG team just got back from a great night spent at the welcoming Hales Corner Lutheran Church where the rain did not dampen our spirits!

I knew it was going to be a good night even before we started because of the wonderful moms and ladies of the church that helped us tackle set up with a cheerful heart. We were also getting excited because it was the first day of our Shop Til You Drop event, and after the SKG team got a great response from Gap and Old Navy at a nearby mall we couldnt wait to get the rest of the moms and daughters pumped up to shop!! It was so awesome to see moms gearing up to send a message to the fashion industry, and to thank retailers who care about providing clothing that is modest yet super cute. And even thought the event is over, WE CAN STILL SEND THAT MESSAGE! Write to your favorite stores, send a letter to the editor sharing your heart, and tell all of your friends about why modesty is so valuable!

The event itself was a blast, the girls were SO much fun and super excited about life! One of the great girls I got to meet was named Sydney- which is especially cool to me because I am Australian!

So thanks again to the wonderful ladies in Hales Corner, take a look at the beautiful pictures provided by the talented Susan Dawicke below!

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl Today is the day. 28,340 of us will shop. But why are we shopping? We’re shopping because the fashion industry is a conduit of eating disorders, depression and early sexualization for our little girls. Pretty blunt. But very true. The American Psychological Association links these traits to teen girls who were exposed to smutty clothing in their tween years. We’ve been working ourselves silly to get the word out and try to get the industry to take note of us. Women’s Wear Daily is key. It is the global “bible” of the fashion industry. They are dialoging with us, but reluctant to write about us so far. They want to know that any of us will actually shop. They aren’t convinced that we will. Yesterday Kim Michell, one of our Bod Squad Advisory Board Members, was talking to the writer and asked, “What will make you write this story?” She was met with silence. So, she asked, “What will make the fashion industry care about modesty?” The writer point blank answered: “They don’t care about modesty.” “What do they care about,” asked Kim Michell? “They care about money, and that’s it,” answered the reporter. Sad, but true. The only words we have to speak with is currency. Cash. Master Card. VISA. And, in this downturned economy, our dollars have an extra measure of noise. Please put your money where your mouth is with me this weekend. Please. I need this from you. Shop at just ONE store and drop off our thank you card. But, that brings me to our greater purpose. You see, if the fashion industry doesn’t listen at all, we have still achieved our primary goal. Because our primary goal is and always will be to join the hearts of moms to their daughters so that they can instill Truth. So, if just a handful of us take our daughters out this weekend and have some decent conversations about discernment, modesty and social responsibility…we have won. (Especially considering that we could possibly get a great new sweater out if it! And don’t forget to stop for a smoothie!) Here’s a link to your thank you cards. Please print these and leave them behind or they store won’t know you are with us.

Thanks for helping us get the word out. We got a good response. The winner of this contest was selected. This contest is closed.Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper GirlTomorrow, we shop til we drop. 28,340 of us at last count are going to hit Gap Kids,  Old Navy, Children’s Place or Lands End (locally at Sears). We are moms and daughters who are trying to say “no” to the negative impact of  the fashion industries continual attempt to make our daughters dress like they are 17 when they are seven, and urge them through Photoshopped images to binge and purge to fit into a size 2 when they’re 15. I love fashion. I loathe the direction it sometimes takes. Instead of boycotting anyone, we’re saying “thanks” by shopping at four retailers who we voted consistently provide fun and trendy clothing that is also age-appropriate for an 8-12 year old girl. I think that’s news-worthy. I might be biased from the year-long effort we’ve placed on getting signatures for our petition and the emails you’ve all sent. And a few have mentioned us and even gotten behind us. USA Today gave us a nod. Focus on the Family has covered it. FamilyLife has blogged about it. K-LOVE included us as a positive, encouraging story. Today I’ll be on Janet Parshall’s America. But, I want more. I want the industry and other moms to know what we know. Stuff like this:

“Frequent exposure to cultural beauty ideals via the media has been shown to be associate with higher rates of eating disorders, both for the individual and the population at large. [A study of] incidence of anorexia nervosa among 10- to 19-year-olds girls during a 50-year period found that it paralleled changes in fashion and idealized body image. The thin ideal preceded the times when the rates of anorexia nervosa were highest.”

-American Psychological Association Report, pg 13

So, I’m asking you to help me make a little noise today. Would you email one of these news outlets and simply tell them, I’m one of 28,340 moms and daughters shopping this weekend in the Bod Squad’s Shop Til You Drop Event to say “no” to sensual fashion and “yes” to retailers who provide age appropriate clothing. (The 28,340 is important. Include that and a link to our Bod Squad Petition page.

Bill OReilly. Suggest to him that we think that all 28,340 of us are patriots and that Ralph Lauren is a pinhead for firing model Filippa Hamilton for being too fat.       

USA TOday.Simply tell them that you are one of 28,340 moms and daughters shopping to send a message to the fashion industry, and we think that’s news-worthy!

K-LOVE Please only contact them if you are a K-LOVE listener. They have been great and we love them. Tell them thanks for covering us a few weeks ago and that we’d sure love their help in mobilizing moms this weekend. We need more shoppers!

Anyone who writes to any one of these news sources (in a kind and positive way), and then posts a comment here reporting on who you contacted and what you said will be entered into a random drawing to win a $50 gift card from one of our four Shop Til You Drop destinations. You pick. Gap Kids, Old Navy, Children’s Place, or Land’s End. I’ll randomly select the winner and email you tomorrow morning to ask which store you prefer. Let’s get the word out!

• P.S. Don’t forget to download your thank you cards to leave at the stores this weekend. 

Phoenix, AZ is one amazing place to be….and was especially amazing on Friday, October 16th!!!!  Secret Keeper Girl made its way to Palmcroft Baptist Church to meet up with over 600 excited moms and daughters.  Can I just say the place looked great!  The staff and volunteers did an incredible job decorating the church with cut-outs of flowers and butterflies everywhere!  The decorations just added to all the estrogen in the building!   Can you all keep a secret?…  During intermission the security man came up to me and admitted that he too was saying “crackle, crackle, crackle” during the teacup story!!!  Along with the fun and craziness of the moms customs and the girls fashion show with LOADS of confetti were 12 salvations!  Can you shout AMEN!   And there is more… 20 children were sponsored through Holt International.  Wow, God is big and He was definitely at work in Phoenix!

HOW You Should Shop With Me October 23 & 24!

By Dannah Gresh, Founder Secret Keeper Girl

Our Shop Til You Drop Event, designed to thank Old Navy/Gap Kids, Lands End and Children’s Place for providing age-appropriate clothing for our little girls, is just 14 days away! USA TODAY, Focus on the Family, K-LOVE, The Baptist Free Press and many other news entities have covered our efforts to encourage retailers to provide age appropriate clothing for our daughters. And I hope you have the motivation to help me take a message to the fashion industry about their responsibility to protect our girls in what they sell and how they market it to our daughters. I’d like to share with you HOW you can make this a great learning experience for your daughter.

1.) Sit down with her and explain to her why we are doing this. Let me remind you that an American Psychological Association  (APA) task force on the sexualization of little girls found some terrifying trends associated with smutty clothes. The APA task force’s report states that music lyrics, Internet content, video games and clothing are now being marketed to younger and younger girls. The smutty content of the marketing is linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. Ironically, this early sexualization presented to young girls has “negative consequences on girls’ ability to develop healthy sexuality.” In experiencing sexuality too soon, they actually lose their ability to experience it in a healthy way as adult women. You can’t tell your daughter that! But what you can tell her is this: “Sometimes the clothing seems OK and like everyone else is wearing it and buying it, but the research proves that girls who get too focused on how they look end up getting so sick that they don’t like themselves and end up hurting themselves.”

2.) Show her the “A More Beautiful You” video by Johnny Diaz. You can find it on You Tube and it shows really clearly how make-up , photography and computer design can create a fake “beautiful.” Help her to understand that she’s beautiful just like she is and that you don’t want her to buy into the world’s lies that she needs to buy certain clothes or wear make-up to be beautiful.

3.) Tell her that we want to thank some stores who have chosen not to create unhealthy images for us to look at. The three that we have chosen at Old Navy/Gap Kids, Lands End (Sears locally) and Children’s Place. Talk to her about how over 20,000 moms and daughters are joining us to show up at these stores and buy something on October 23 and 24 just to say thanks! In fact, you can download and print this little “thank you” card and leave it at the retailer when you make your purchase. http://www.secretkeepergirl.com/shoptilyoudrop.aspx

4.) Make it fun! Invite a few friends to sign the petition with you. Maybe teach your daughter some things about budgeting on this day, too. Give her a certain budget to stay within and have fun.

To my surprise Sunnyvale, TX wasn’t very “sunny” at all, but regardless of the cold we had an amazing afternoon event in Sunnyvale, TX!  Since our crew flew to TX we needed a lot of volunteers and help to get the stage Secret Keeper Girl ready.  We had some of the best volunteers working hard on balloons and book table set-up!  Thank you all soooo much, it could not have happened without you.  Once the countdown was in place and the event started it was an afternoon of mother-daughter bonding all over the room.  Watching moms and daughters laugh together and share in some intimate moments is one of the most beautiful sites to watch.  But the best part of the show was when SIX GIRLS decided to follow hard after Christ and come to know Him as their Savior!  These girls can now say that they are daughters of the King, and you know what that means–they are real PRINCESSES!!  Girls don’t forget that you are a Princess and you are of great value to God.  Don’t forget that your value never changes to God and you are unique and special to Him.  Praise Him because you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Secret Keeper Girl became aware of a stunning photograph that speaks to what’s near to our hearts.  Advertisers and fashion magazines are using photographs of women that are altered and “retouched.”  They take real photographs and use tools like Photoshop to change the women into looking thinner and airbrushed!  This is what our young girls are being exposed to and these are the images that are being placed in their minds!  You see, one Harvard study found that 2/3 of underweight twelve year old girls consider themselves to be “fat.”  These are UNDERWEIGHT girls and they think they are fat?  Why would that be?  Because they are given visual lies everyday about what beauty is and should be!                                                                               Check out this “retouched” model from Ralph Lauren…http://shine.yahoo.com/event/fallbeauty/image-of-ultra-thin-ralph-lauren-model-sparks-outrage-521480/                                                                                                                             Unbelievable right? RIGHT!  It’s unbelievable because it is NOT real!!  We are looking at photoshopped pictures of women everyday.  And we use those same pictures as the standard for our beauty.  So what does a Secret Keeper Girl mom do with something like this?  She talks about it.  Don’t ignore it!  Show your daughter this photograph and ask her what she thinks.  Explain to her that it’s likely that this photograph was altered, like most photographs are altered.  Then, turn her once again to the Truth: God’s Word.  Find a favorite scripture verse about her beauty and post it on her bedroom door today so she is able to really feast on it.

 Are you interested in doing our “Secret Keeper Girl- 8 Great Dates” in a group setting?  I know many women out there have decided to do these dates in groups rather than just one-on-one.  I thought it would be fun to blog about each date and give some ideas for how to facilitate them in groups, but mostly I want YOU to be able to post comments and give your advice!  Use this blog to ask questions and get answers from other women who have already done these dates in groups!Date #1:  Tea Cup Partaaayy!!!!    This is easy to do in a group! Just prepare a tea party for as many moms and daughters that are coming or make reservations and go out to a tearoom or special restaurant.  Have the room decorated with many fun and delicious snacks. (chocolate is a must! )  Have a few different lotions for moms and daughters to pick from to use for the hand massage.  You could even pamper the girls more by painting their fingernails.  You can have the moms serve the tea to their daughters in a tea cup they have bought or one from their home collection.  (we also sell teacups that groups can use) I would only use one main facilitator, but give time and encourage the moms and daughters to talk through the questions together!  Also you can purchase the Secret Keeper Girl Diary separate from the kit, so each girl can have her own diary!  Maybe give time for the girls to break off and find a spot to journal in their diary.  Set up little areas with bean bag chairs or other comfy spots where the girls can go to and write in their diaries.  Play soothing music to quiet the girls down and allow them to really focus on what they have learned during the session.I hope this helps!  Have fun with these dates!                                                                                                                                                                   Posted by Cali Galloway, Secret Keeper Girl Intern

Posted by Dannah Gresh, Creator of Secret Keeper Girl.  Our Shop Til You Drop Event, designed to thank three retailers for providing age-appropriate clothing for our little girls, is just 21 days away! And I hope you have the motivation to help me take a message to the fashion industry about their responsibility to protect our girls in what they sell and how they market it to our daughters. I’d like to explain to you why this event is so important for your daughters value system.

Just yesterday my daughter, Lexi, came home from the mall where she’d shopped with some friends. Her friends frequent a store that features pornographic posters and frequently interrupts prime time television with soft-porn-style ads. For years, Lexi and I have dialogued about the economics of buying clothing at that particular store. I’ve taught her that in patronizing the store, we are taking part in paying for that mainstream pornography.  Imagine my pleasure when she told me that when her friends started buying, she didn’t. And she was able to express to her friends why! It is critical to begin to dialogue with  your daughter not only about what kinds of clothing she wears but where she buys them.

If that thought doesn’t motivate you, maybe a picture will. Check out this new ultra-rise jean making it’s make in the U.S. Created in Japan, it comes with its own built-in panty so the wearer won’t be fined for indecent exposure. This is why we are taking time to send a positive message.

You’ll notice that I didn’t mention the store’s name where my girls and I won’t shop. I’ve always felt a great caution from the Lord against being negative and boycotting the retailers that I’ve personally chosen not to patronize. However, I do think that we have a responsibility to our daughters and our granddaughters to speak up. But, we can do it positively.

That’s why we are featuring our Shop Til You Drop Event October 23 & 24, during which we will shop at three retailers who have consistently provided age-appropriate clothing for our girls. It’s a great way to send a message by saying thank you! And the voting has been tabulated. You have collectively agreed to shop at:

                        •Old Navy/Gap Kids

                     •Lands End 

                        •Children’s Place