Jun 17
What Freaks You Out About Raising Girls?
Posted By Dannah GreshI’m finishing up the galley (designed manuscript) portion of my September release Six Ways To Keep The Little In Your Girl: Raising Your Tween To Be A Godly Teen. We need “something” to fill a page at the beginning of each chapter. I’d like to include real life concerns from moms. Your first name would appear under your quote with the name and age of your daughter. So….could you talk a quick minute and answer this question?
WHAT CULTURAL PRESSURE MOST CONCERNS YOU ABOUT RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER?
(2-3 sentences, please. Can be in the form of questions.)
Here are some key areas that the book covers and it’d be great to have these addressed in some of your answers.
- Toys, Dolls, Commercialism
- Periods, Hormones
- Boys, Boy-craziness at a younger and younger age
- Sleep overs, the cultural pressure to have less and less family time
- Carpooling (importance of it so you can hear what’s going on)
- Television, Movies, Music and Celebrity Influence
- Immodesty, beauty products sold earlier and earlier
- Mean girls
You don’t have to use the list above. It’s just for creating creative ideas!Here’s how it should look:
“I can’t believe the pressure to dress immodestly. I thought that after all the groundwork I laid with my girls when they were little, it wouldn’t be so hard. But it is. Are there any other moms out there saying “no” to low cut shirts and bikinis?”Dannah, mom to Lexi (16) and Autumn (16)
21 Comments so far
Give us your thoughts
I’m concerned with the pressure from friends, etc. for my daughter to have a boyfriend. The boy craziness concerns me in the days of cell phones and texting when things can get out of hand easily. Lynn, mom to Taylor (11)
I am dismayed at today’s idea of maturity. My beautiful daughter is thoughtful, helpful, and focused on God, but because she still plays with dolls, watches innocent cartoons rather than Hannah Montana and “Secret Life”, and doesn’t know the words to any secular music she is considered the “immature” child by her peers and their mothers- why the push for them to grow up so fast?? (Jenna; 7)
I’m concerned that my child is naive and innocent, as she should be at 8 years old, but could be influenced by peers. The clothing industry is focused on having my child dress inappropriate for her age that she could reflect an image that is not how she is in her heart. She is so trusting and caring; I’m worried of her getting hurt.
I am concerned with the mean girls at school who try to make my daughter feel like a “wierdo” because she is not allowed, nor is she interested in secular music, movies, and “hot” young boy celebrities. I also am concerned about how often kids are tuned out from any social interaction due to cell phones, music players, etc, at a younger and younger age and don’t experience true quality time! The biggest problem I see is “Christian” girls (and moms!) giving in to the pressures of the world and setting bad examples for those who follow behind them.
Jen, mom to Emma (9)
Thoughts on keeping my little girls little- I don’t rush into trends. I sit back and see what they are really about in order to decide whether I want that for my child. One of my girls is an avid reader. She could easily read books far beyond her ability to handle. For this reason I keep her reading books that are appropriate for her age level and leave the higher level appropriate books for her to enjoy when she is older.
Since we homeschool, we don’t have as many of the “normal” issues to deal with. For that I am very thankful. But, my daughter is 10 and we have issues with clothing. She desires clothing that would draw attention (the wrong kind) to herself. She doesn’t have the wisdom or discernment to see the effects of wearing such things. I truly believe at 10 it isn’t her desire to draw attention in that way, she just really thinks the clothes are “cute”. Another area of concern is believing the lies of the world. Like, you have to have a boyfriend to be happy, you “deserve” better that what God has provided, I “deserve” to be happy, I have to have a job/career to be satisfied, children are a burden…..I could just go on and on.
Regardless of how I try to protect my daughter from negative influences, she is still bombarded with unhealthy body and sexual images, everywhere you turn from the grocery store to neighborhood children. I want nothing more than to keep my babies innocent and little, yet the world is out to devour them. This concerns me deeply, since I have done nothing but pour positive Godly thoughts into my daughter and she still comes home saying, “I don’t like the way I look, my legs are fat”. Tracy, mom to Allayna (9) and Ava (3)
It makes me crazy that society is pressuring our girls to grow up way too fast. It frustrates me that even among Christian moms there is an apathy toward the influences they allow into their children’s lives. And, of course, every mom-of-girls nightmare: BOYS! :o)
Sorry… name and age of my daughters, Audrey, 10; Anna, 6; Adeline, 4
I am amazed when I shop for my three daughters (Massie, 11; Mary Stuart, 10, and Tarpley,
how adult-like the clothing and accessories are. My girls are totally happy in polka dots and flowers, cotton dresses and shorts, and frilly nightgowns. Even for 6 year olds the cultural norm is to have shirts with immodest or disrespectful messages on them, dresses cut like a fashion model’s, and clothing that in a few more years sends the exact wrong message. It is hard to go backwards and explain why “you can’t wear that now” when “oh, isn’t that cute?” was the message a few years before. It is harder to find modest and respectful clothing, but SO worth it on the front end.
How can moms think that letting their elementary-age daughters read fashion magazines geared toward teens or magazines about pop stars at such a young age is healthy? Am I the only one who thinks this stuff is trash and the LIBRARY is the place to get quality reading material??
(Massie, 11, Mary Stuart, 10, Tarpley,
I am seriously concerned about relationships, especially with boys. My 8 year old daughter, Hannah, has told me that she had 3 boyfriends this year (2nd grade). One boyfriend wanted to kiss her in the hallway and we had to have a serious discussion about how inappropriate it is for an 8 year old to have a boyfriend, never mind kissing.
Hannah age 8 and Leah age 6
Most people (even respected Christian family members) think we’re too strict on what our children are allowed to watch, but I feel it’s only being a responsible parent to safeguard my children from the lies of our society. Hannah Montana and the like are not allowed in our home and I’m not ashamed to explain why it’s not allowed. I’m disturbed too by the push on younger and younger children to act in a grown up way.
Gabrielle 4, Abigail 3.
I am having the hardest time with my 8 year old being concerned about boys. last year we went to watch my nephew play basketball and she commented on one of the other players and how “cute” he was. I have numerous conversations with her about not being concerned about boys, but I am just not sure the best way to handle this. Even younger shows have characters commenting on boys and girls coupling up.
Erica mother to Eden(8)
I am worried that no matter what I tell my girls they are going to go the way of the world. I know I have to teach them and then leave it to the Lord. The more I push I think they will run the other way. I just don’t want them to make the mistakes I made or worse.
I’m worried about the impact that social media is playing into my daughters’ lives. They are nine and ten, and most of their friends have cell phones and facebook or myspace accounts. This disasterous combination of our “right here, right now” society is spiraling our children into an abyss of immorality and self gratification. Children are too knowledgeable of current trends and are far too accepting of sin in today’s society. I fear our Godly influences are washing away to pop culture.” Amanda, Mother of Skyelar (9) and Alyssa (10)
I am having a hard time with the toys and dolls that they make for girls.There are some things that I would never buy my daughter but then there are things like disney princesses and some barbies that I am not sure about.My daughter is only a baby now but I am just trying to decide were to draw the line.
Gracie (12month)
I am concerned for my daughters spiritual development being drawned out by the world’s noise. Both my daughters are not interested in Hanna Montana or Miley Cyrus because I discourage it early, however when Kalia was two all the three year olds at daycare were into the show. I saw early that peer influences can even pressure a toddler. I’m concerned about media, technology, books, dances, trends, and toys. My children are now 5 (Kalia) and 8 (Kimora). So far they do not have an apetite for secular media,music, or popular trends. I use movies and object lessons constantly to point their hearts toward God. Right now they are not chastized by their peers,but I do feel a need to teach them to be bold, confident, and secure in their relationship with Christ, by knowing who they are and whose they are. I try to teach them the true measure of their beauty is not their dress size, but the size of their heart. I’m constantly planning the next move in thier spiritual development, I’m an educator and I’ve taken master level courses in child development so I try to apply those principles to how a child brain develops to teach them about Christ just as I would to teach them about math, science, or reading. My major concern is that the inner witness of the Holy Spirit will be a constant guide for them at every stage of life. I count on the Holy Spirit to use moments in their life as lessons to navigate their hearts, souls, and minds toward Christ that they will stand up and stand out in this world of chaos and be a light.
Michelle , (Kimora 8, Kalia 5, Athian Jr. 4 months)
What I find shocking is how “normal” immodesty has become even within the church. It is discouraging to find that many of my children’s church friends are wrapped up in boys, fashions, and teen stars! Whatever happened to God’s people being called out - different?!
Anna (7)
I am concerned about the messages my daughter is receiving at school. Other girls her age (9) are playing Twilight at recess and making her feel like an outcast because she would rather play horses and make believe. I am discouraged that other moms of 9 year olds would let them see these movies and/or read the books. 9 year olds should still be interested in cats and dogs, not vampires and love.
I am saddened that I have to keep my daughters under eagle eyes when we visit the movie rental store because the managers have zero discretion for the propaganda and cd covers they display. I have even been outraged at the local library where we are supposed to encourage a love for reading, but a lot of their books are immoral and push political correctness on our babes!
Joan, mother of Cassidy(11) and Christen(8)